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So, I landed on the psychiatric ward...... What the heck had happened? Not wanting to tussle with my new medications, I decided not to recall the pre-hospitalization. If not, Dr. Rimmed Egghead, or the quarterly bald psychiatrist who saw me wouldn’t be happy. He would look like a dented ostrich egg, you know. Suffice to say I was at the lowest low of my Clinical Depression. On 22 June 07, I broke down and hence touched down on the Planet of the Nuts ‒ again. That was psychiatric ward of Selayang Hospital, Selangor, outskirts of Kuala Lumpur. No nut case, no peanuts served there, but another psychiatrist with the pot belly of Nutty Professor. Followed by the three other Medical Officers, they were the psychiatric ward squad of Selayang Hospital. I had only one regret. I had forgotten to ask my brother to take pictures with his hand phone when I was wearing the wasabi-green hospital uniform. I felt the green color of it also painted on my face. I looked greenish pale and grayish haggard. Imagine. I was with the excitement of an 18 years old but looked 10 years older than my real age, 37. (Do that Gwen Stephanie sultry moves, the ala Madonna hungry eyelash fluttering!) There was something that I did not quite understand. Is the mental health standard in Malaysia still remained in the Third World? I was given 300 mg of Seroquel at different doses per day, and injection of Fluanxol per month. I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Eating Disorder (ED). So, why the heck that I was given and injected with antipsychotic, which were meant for Schizophrenia? Or OCD not in the hospital vocabulary? Strange. No wonder. The strong doses worked in the beginning. My deep, excruciatingly painful Depression was swept away. I was constantly feeling lifted, high on my tip toes. Too bad, this isn't the happy ending that I died for. The awful side effects from Seroquel and Fluanxol such as severe drowsiness and weakness, suffocation, loss of coordination and focusing, and muscle stiffness only manifested after 3 weeks. Feeling great in the hospital, I became chatty like a crow and did my stiffed-tendon creaky dancing in front of the TV whenever there was a MTV. And very much to my delight, a young Medical Assistant (MA) named Mohd. N., aged 25, followed me everywhere I went! (Not bad for a 37 years old, eh?). We talked like , played like , watching TV together like till he was scolded by the nurses! Well, he liked me, so? Anything wrong for a MA to spend time with a patient after finishing all his paperwork? And he complimented that I looked like the dead Mongolian model Altantuya Shaariibuu! (…Whut?!). Next. I finally discharged on 9 July 07. Nothing went well the rest of the month. What a great mess. My medicines had to be rearranged and a new medication, Zoloft added in, after I was struck by the deadly side effects. I only feel better TODAY. I’m hoping for brighter days ahead. Picture: My hospital wrist band. 
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8/2/2007 10:37 pm |
Ah Looi....long time no see.... for someone on medication, you write very very well.....which led me to think either the medication helped in your blogging or if without it, you could do even GREATER. So....you are one heck of a lady........ayoh...here is a kiss.. 'swhiiit'
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8/9/2007 1:58 am |
五百里滇池，奔来眼底，披襟岸帻，喜茫茫空阔无边。看东骧神骏，西 翥灵仪，北走蜿蜒，南翔缟素。高人韵士，何妨选手登临。趁蟹屿螺洲，梳 裹就风鬟雾鬓。更苹天苇地，点缀些翠羽丹霞。莫孤负四围香稻，万顷晴沙， 九夏芙蓉，三春杨柳 数千年往事，注到心头，把酒凌虚，叹滚滚英雄谁在壈想汉习楼船，唐 标铁柱，宋挥玉斧，元跨革囊。伟烈丰功，费尽移山心力。尽珠帘画栋，卷 不及暮雨朝云。便断碣残碑，都付与苍烟落照。只赢得几杵疏钟，半江渔火， 两行秋雁，一枕清霜 管理者的个人风格与公司气质的融合很大程度上决定了公司的融洽范围。创业者毕竟是少数，所有公司进入常态的、稳定的发展，都离不开有责任心、有战略眼光的管理者的打磨…… 展览解说：朱嵬嘉
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8/20/2007 2:56 am |
Long time no see 乜都會變 鬥快拆鬥快起樓 花園升上天 灰灰的天小心空氣驟變 你我有冇變 各位即刻去片 嘩個世界變到變到冇唱片店 嘩個世界爆炸爆炸冧晒港產片 嘩個世界會唱會跳相當罕見 來吧讓軟硬軟硬捍衞地球 Long time no see ＊來吧變身我變 全場人嚟大嗌聲 好久不見 時代快過火箭 有兩個老人撞見 約你去廣播道見 你想見 我想見 見咗會點 你都變我都變＊ Long time no see 終於再見 你有冇再咁天真揸筆寫信件 想想當天到今天再遇見 我氹你氹我笑聲走咗去邊 有冇見過有對愛侶永冇收線 有冇見過有個派對永遠冇終點 有冇見過有對拍檔一起廿年 來吧讓軟硬軟硬捍衛地球 Long time no see
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8/20/2007 2:57 am |
哈哈哈哈，中国迈克、杰克逊七夕节唱手中文广东歌给你听。 哈哈哈哈。让你孤寂的心得到片刻轻松。 哈哈哈哈 听住呢首歌 要跟住一齐唱 呢个世界好鬼怪 变得太快 你话点解 将旧歌词填上新词 扮晒新奇士 又唔系正贷仲博命播 总之乜旧歌 都播 播啊 几十岁扮 kid 连走音都话fit 求祈有百搭fans支持 连sit都变hit 日日也如是 都系得一个闷字 把几火熄完收音机 再打爆个电视机 唱歌要身材好 要跳舞跳唔到 劈石飞车 喷火吞刀 做慈善骚 台底有盘数 要出镜率够高 斟茶灌酒 鱼翅朗口 最紧要大富豪 唱得好都唔卖 唔识唱又出到街 翻版正歌斗抄得快 系创作既就徙晒 填得好又得个桔 乱甘填反而仲得 Remix乜乜物物乱甘dub 都唔知似乜 健康形象好 巨食烟扮环保 要夹口形夹唔到 最怕唱mmo 要发誓唔结婚 最好未失身 究竟D大红人 系假定系真 白金升降lift 要搞搞red hot hit 想罗金铜银大奖 要林既样 去出本写真集 要笑到哈哈哈 直逼白金数乱报 销量好高真系高 靠煲 你红当系宝 唔红变杂草 封面海报 知名度 尽地一铺 所有大路小路 歌照唱 戏照做 究竟进步定退步 总之好过无
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8/20/2007 2:58 am |
我歌神疯魔几百万人呼风唤雨叱咤风云 领导乐坛要靠晒你地无左你地我地会死 疑幻疑真既英文字 abcdefg 你的名字叫做fans fans fans 我地支持你 黎张刘郭巨都钟意上劲歌金曲去eyt 吹亲bb就系fans 逢show必到有早无迟 乱打拍子表示支持万人大合唱世界key 黑色banner亲反光字永远爱你我地支持你 莹光漆笔傻瓜机签名要签正响大脾 撞到secu即刻做戏做证件冒充娱记 话呢话路系后台离见到偶像成个弹起 软硬天师我支持你三个fans一齐黎 哗!陆家俊我地支持你 阿!郑梓浩我地支持你 喂!蔡兴麟我地支持你 abcd继续支持 喂!梁雁翎我地支持你 喂!黎明诗我地支持你 阿!何婉盈我地支持你 真系奇我我系fans 各位fans揸住bb 占领红馆镇压ip 守住门口二十四小时 d秘密通道巨无所不知 勤力过pr非常准时晨早六点栋系唱片公司 墙上刻字地下写诗有起事黎会震碎玻璃 见偶像架车一转出路口巨就跑出马路做长跑好手 跳高拍手仲擘大口摊系路中心扭两扭 由清水湾追到隧道口 披头散发又成身汗臭面青口唇白都唔识得呕 嗌够睇够咪返屋企斗 赖碧芬我地支持你关蔼恩我地支持你 cheung wai ming 我地支持你各位fans请你支持 黎婉雯我地支持你 mo mo ko 我地支持你 冼金凤我地支持你 求下你嗌我 上台献花你娶左我啦强行索吻都几好架 炒到我电话知我call机号码 半夜三更讲声你好吗扑系我楼下摊系我花架 落雨不怕落雪也不怕 对住我同我嘻嘻哈哈拧转背拆蟹雕大花 fans系我地既食粮买我只碟又买我幅相 柱趸式中锋次次捧场来来去去得个几个样 陈李黄何欧阳林葛张欢乐今宵请鼓掌 真真假假气氛幻象 fans偶像齐齐大合唱 loen学友我地支持你 aaron华仔我地支持你 忆莲sally我地支持你 beyond草蜢我地支持你 王菲shirley我地支持你 jimmy dicky 我地支持你
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8/26/2007 2:42 am |
卖力地为你唱只迷人情歌 慢慢地步入你的星座 故事情节总会坎坷 唯独有你靠在我身旁 尽力地为你抹去眼角泪光 尽力地避及猛风海浪 凡俗世间太彷徨 无奈青春不够耐看 我深怕我会连累你 让你翻山倒海般痛悲 自问已经筋歇力疲 没有力气歇斯低你 我奋力追 追到没法追 追到没法分清我是谁 不止爱一人 感到疲累 翻天的雨水 能令你我都粉粹 我继续追 伤痛亦要追 紧接下去想不想倒退 不管你的人 被谁占据 都请你原谅我 始终带不到 墨尔本的悲翠 尽力地为你抹去眼角泪光 尽力地避及猛风海浪 凡俗世间太彷徨 唯独青春不够耐看 我深怕我会连累你 让你翻山倒海般痛悲 自问已经筋歇力疲 没有力气歇斯低你 我奋力追 追到没法追 追到没法分清我是谁 不止爱一人 感到疲累 翻天的雨水 能令你我都粉粹 我继续追 伤痛亦要追 紧接下去想不想倒退 不管你的人 被谁占据 始终爱不起 雾雨火的差距 我继续追 伤痛亦要追 紧接下去想不想倒退 不管你的人 被谁占据 都请你原谅我 始终带不到 墨尔本的悲翠
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10/7/2007 6:31 am |
Hey babes Its good to see you though I write on here a little late. BIG HUGZ (though not too big eh, don't wanna crush ya) Your my number one acid tongued girl here. I need you so don't you be heading off anywhere OK. Medication is a biatch but some work well and maybe it was time. Keep writing and chin up. With love and respect. Mish
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12/26/2007 8:50 pm |
I want to really commend you on be so very open and honest about your personal situation. I feel very sorry for you and I know the kind of suffering you have endured. I too have suffered from severe depression at various times in my life and at least you are very open and honest about it. I am going to pray for you because that is all that I can do from so far away. I pray that this new year will bring joy, blessings and peace of mind to you. You deserve to be happy. I am an addictionologist and I am familiar with the medications that they have given you. Sometimes they cross over medications because some work for other ailments but sometimes the doctors really don't prescribe the correct medications because it can be a hit or miss sort of thing. I am wishing you well and perhaps your experience will greatly benefit others. Best wishes  HUGS!!! Stan a student of life 
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