Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > puteri_ayu > misteri puteri ayu |
|
Manglish, the mangled English? Right. Our own Pidgin English. Why it’s called Manglish? It’s the English language, but badly mangled. Or a combination of Malay, Chinese and/or Indian with English. This is the situation in Malaysia. In the eateries, shop lots, shopping malls, toilets, libraries, parks, everywhere, you shall hear the talking of the familiar English, but along with the strange semi-English. Other than that, the rests speak Chinese, Malay, Indian or other languages of the native, mostly. I believe all experts would agree that the English language is an advanced language, a very difficult language to master. Indeed, the English language is full of linguistic mine-traps and pools of quicksand that provides endless ludicrous humors! And English as our 2nd language, we DO face terrible problems using the language! I got these from reading the newspapers, hearing from others and speaking them myself. In the late 90’s, when I had just began learning to use the computer and had installed software called MIRC. MIRC was only for chatting. And my English was no where near to the passing mark. I was chatting with a Western girl from US. I said, ‘I'm making sandwich myself, and will be back.’ And the girl then laughed her head off. She said, ‘Whut? You’ll turn into sandwich when you come back??!!.....haha!’ And last year, my cousins and family from Australia came to visit us. And my cousin-in-law, a Caucasian lady who grew her hair very long. I asked her how long. ‘Touch here’, she pointed at her bu*ttom. Then I mistakenly said, ‘Oh, hair on your backside’. Then followed by a loud laughter! My cousin brother said, ‘Her hair reaches her backside and NOT grown on her backside!...haha!’. And I felt SO embarrassed!.....ahah! I told him then that it was indeed very common for Malaysians with such problems when speaking, writing and reading English! And it’s common to hear Malaysians invite friends to their homes, and then say, ‘Let’s see the backside of my house’. (The last part of the house). So, the host is going to show his/her a** to the guests! Last time, I took a bottle of shampoo in the supermarket and read what was written behind. It stated, ‘This shampoo is for damage hair’. My goodness! Who the heck would buy that shampoo??!!..ahahaha......! But a little ego saved. Not only the Malaysians speak the worst English. I’ve found some dead hilarious broken English in books by some Chinese from China and Taiwan. This book written by a Traditional Chinese Medicine practitioner, Henry C. Lu, a Chinese resided in a Western country, I suppose. His book called Chinese Foods for Longevity. Below are a few of his recommendations of foods to be eaten for the respective illnesses: . Dried black soybean sprouts ‒ Good for edema, diminished urination and pains in the bones. . Eggplant ‒ Good for discharge of blood from the anus, mouth cankers and tooth aches. . Fig leaves ‒ Good for hemorrhoids, heart pain, painful swelling. . Cucumber vine ‒ Good for epilepsy and hypertension. Who’s the hell going to eat all those things that would only make the illnesses WORSE??!!.....What a translation!....haha! And this is a recipe book called ‘Beauty Drinks’ written by a Taiwanese author. . Ganoderma Tea ‒ Savior of white-livered face. (Maybe all she needs is Jesus). . Gourd Lotus Tea ‒ Bye-bye fat legs. . Medicated leaven tea ‒ Fat killer. . Grapefruit Green Tea ‒ Stomach sweeper. . Coix Ganorderma Tea ‒ Baby your face. Indeed, they should learn English seriously before writing their books! And I had found a website that made me laughed near death! The website was created by a Western guy. And his website is mainly about the hilarious, terrible English language made by the Chinese in China. And there’re also some from Malaysia. He also had many pictures taken as evidences. I’ve picked some of the worst! . On a restaurant signboard, Peak Pizzaria - 7 days without pizza makes one weak. . On the information signboard in a hospital, the 2nd row read, ‘C*nt Examination’ (See picture). [Ahahaha! What a signboard! All the doctors, nurses and staffs gravely need to learn English ASAP!] . On a restaurant menu ‒ Note: The bargain, stanza day off forgive to do not sell at a discount. Bargain item - Burn the spring chicken. The farmer is small to fry the king ‒ 18 yuan. Domestic life beef immerses cabbage ‒ 13 yuan. Cowboy leg beautiful pole ‒ 23 yuan. See http://asiafriendfinder.com for the rests. Sure you’ll laugh till your house shatters! Puteri_ayu 
|
|||
1/7/2007 6:29 am |
lolz haiz.. what to do leh? grow up in malaysia, our "combo" made up of more than 3 languages (dont forget the chinese dialects) LOL impressive...
| ||
1/7/2007 6:57 am |
I needed this laugh...  terribly bad.. especially, this early in the morning.. starting my day with it.. may be a good thing  I'd love to read some of the funny things, english speaking people say, when trying to speak Chinese and have no clue what they are saying..  and the Chinese people look at them like " what !!" and laugh.. ( if you know any please post .. I'd love to read it..) it probably has to be even funnier if english try and write Chinese.. Wilddream, has a post of translations of some commercial products that was/is very funny..
|
