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| Blogs > Jon27Chicago > 天长地久的爱情 |
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A letter to my ex-wife wich i never mailed I digged thought the letter I wrote to my ex-wife, and I found this letter in the box, which I never mail it out... Dear Rina, I've been missing you, and I was try to moving on in my life without thinking you, I was try to face my problem with all that I have, but it was never easy, the road to redemption was long and difficult, I just try to be a better human being, at least, that way, I hope that I able to make up some of the mistake that I have done in my life. I have been pretty sick these couple days, I had fever, I was sleeping though the weekend, I often dream of you, I miss those days that you were by my side, and I holding you in my arm. My aunt Linda have invited me for dinner lastnight, and one of my older cousin was there, he got married couple years back then, and he have a , I was so jealous in my heart, I could have a family, but depression just eating me up and I wasn¡¯t able to upkeep the family that we started, it was all my fault, after dinner we were have a very heartily talk, and I told him that it was all my fault that my marriage didn¡¯t work out, at least now I am on this long lost road of redemption. He ask me why didn¡¯t I try to meet someone new, and I told him that I just can't let you go in my heart, I have so much regrets. I know you are not listening to my repines, but for some reason that I just want to write to you, and never mail it. I could never imagine that you could ever forgive me, but I try my best to ask for forgiveness, I just want you to know that even I wasn¡¯t a good husband or a good human being, deep inside my heart I was always loved you, I could never imagine that we have a chance that ever get back to what it was before, where we were happy then, that is why I come to the conclusion that I will sign the divorce paper work for you, at least I hope you were happier that way. How was your mother, sisters and brother, please give them my deepest apology that I wasn¡¯t able to be a good husband, that I wasn¡¯t able to take care of you through this year, I have so much mental struggle, and I was away for the War, I can only blame myself that I wasn¡¯t able to pull myself out, I didn¡¯t have the chance to cherish the love that you try to share with me, even you forgave my many wrong deeds and still decided to marry me. I am not try to force you to love me anymore, I know in your heart have all this anger and rage towards me, I just hope that at least I try to talk with you and you be able to feel better, you can yell at me, if that suit your heart, I am not begging for your pity, I just don¡¯t want you to walk the same path as I did. I just hope that God can forgive me for my wrong doing all these years. I don¡¯t want to blame the past anymore, and I don¡¯t¡¯ want to blame you for my misfortunes, I loved you, and I still do, I just hope that I can continue able to bare the pain of regret, and be a better human being. I hope you doing well, attend church service like I do, I know you are a devote Christian and not losing faith in yourself. I am not try to be selfish about my emotion anymore, I open up my heart and let go of a lot of things that been bothering me, I hope you can do the same as well. Truely, Jon... 
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3/10/2006 5:59 am |
I want you to talk to me. Send me personal mail. I will be looking for it.
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尽管有些事于我们无关，但倘若联想到自己，悲从中来，心底那根筋被扯痛了，别人的事就变成自己的事，总是心痛，这样不好，容易得心肌梗塞。
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