12th December 2007
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Posted:Dec 12, 2007 7:34 am
Last Updated:May 20, 2024 7:4 am 3378 Views
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After two days overnight, my assignment has not finished yet, Keith checked them and made quite a lot comment on it. I felt I am a totally loser once I saw those corrections. I am a MBA student, how can I write such rubbish. Keith always encourages me, do not give up, one day I will achieve my goal. I believe that, I am trying. I think another reason help me to concentrate my assignment is I trough him out of my mind. I never known he is such shit. He was looking for other girls when he chased me. How can men do that? Maybe they think you are not good enough for him, or they open another road to back off. I am laughing, because they would never understand what is love about, what is the really meaning love means. He thought he maneuvered every thing, he thought I would not know it. And he thought he could continue play the game. It is really ridiculous for a 30 years old man. He blamed his ex, because she hurt him so much and caused him incapable to deal with women. I even believed him at that time. Now I realize he was making excuse to cover his bad behaviors.
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9th December 2007
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Posted:Dec 9, 2007 3:59 pm
Last Updated:Apr 22, 2008 4:17 pm 4607 Views
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I think women can not have sex with the man who she wants to have long term relationship. I am seating in front of my laptop and thinking about Mike and me. We had sex last night, but since then he changed. He did not give me a phone call since he left. He gave me massages every day and every moment before yesterday. Ha ha, the worse thing is I just start want to be with him. How ridicule is it? I am learning something about foreigners. Is it another reason why I am here? I do not understand. These days, sex is becoming more important than feeling. Maybe I just need to change my pattern, do not think about feeling, just take the man go to bed. I do not know, I think I am changing too. I would never write it down about my feeling so truly. I do not how many people have seen ¡°Sex and City¡±, this is a really great series. I like the way these women treat their life, men and the ability of recover. I should learn something from that, actually, I did learn something. I do not feel sad anymore, the thing is I am coming out from my small cell. The world does not need the feeling and love between people¡¯s relationship. All they are thinking is about sex, sex and sex! I do not hate sex, what I hate is men do not want to connect sex and feeling.
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8th December 2007
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Posted:Dec 7, 2007 7:56 pm
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2007 3:12 am 3474 Views
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He called me when I got home, actually it was this morning. He said sorry and called me honey again. I did not expect he will call me again. I thought we were over. I told he about my ex, and they have similarities and I am afraid I will put myself at the situation which I just escaped from my ex. He said he is not going push me be the relationship with him. He can be my friend and step by step to come close with me. I felt so warmness when I heard about this. Is he really like me. Yesterday afternoon he was so rude and boyish. Just few hours later, he became so mature and charming. I still can not tell what my feeling is, confused, exciting and dilemma. Do I like him, if I do, what will I go to do with Mike? What will I suppose to say to Mike? Maybe I will run away from Mike again. But be with a person who has same personality with ex can be the craziest thing I can imagine in the world. I have a Research Method in few hours, but I am still stick myself in this stupid position¡¡
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7th December 2007
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Posted:Dec 7, 2007 10:22 am
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2007 7:00 am 3412 Views
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Finally, he called me last night and wanted read together. But I rejected, I could not face him after ten days span. I asked him why he did not call me during such long time. He said because he mad about me was not being understanding. What did not I understand was why just second day he became so distance; let me felt I was a trouble. We ended at a unhappyness. I could not sleep for no reason. I was not sad and I was not mad, just could not fall in sleep. Just a hour ago we had a fight about the same issue, he blamed me why being so Hitler. I totally understand what he was trying to say. Maybe we are just parallel and no crash. I do not know if I still like him or not, I just felt really cool this morning after my revenge. The conversation had been ended in a really bizarre way, we blessed each other can fine our significances in a sarcastic tone. Well, I think that its. Tomorrow Mike is coming and my heart do not have space for him. But why I am not feeling good about him or Mike. What's my problem? What am I exactly looking for?
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5th December 2007
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Posted:Dec 5, 2007 9:55 am
Last Updated:Dec 6, 2007 11:57 am 3370 Views
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Monday, met Mike in London, we had a quite happiness talking that night at a really lovely caf谷 bar. I think I had a new consideration about him. He is a really patient person and easy-going. He told me a lot of his work and his friends, even some of the topics I did not like it. On the way home, he kissed me on the street. This is the normal things for many people, but this was my first experience. I can not tell what I felt at that time. I told my Chinese friend what did I been through this spin. He said I changed lots. He can not recognized me compare with the before. I was so pure girl and never know how to maneuver man. I response,§ He changed me a lots, I swear I will change since he has abandoned me.§ I am not long around him any more; I should learn how to enjoy my life. Some how, I thank for him, because him, I determined to study abroad, and got the chance to meet so many interesting people. Before, I have not never known the world is so exciting and big. I am not longer be a stupid girl who just knows waiting at home for a man.
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29th November 2007
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Posted:Nov 29, 2007 11:24 am
Last Updated:Nov 30, 2007 2:12 am 4803 Views
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I am struggling with my operation management dissertation, but I can not write a word, my brain is in the traffic jam. I was so exciting to study in MBA, but now I doubt if I made a good choice. Can not concentrate in these two days, my attention has always been withdrawal by him. I do not understand what is happening. It is the first time to open my heart to a person after broken up with ex for one year. But sense he just cares about sex. He told me I should not so shy for the sex issue because I am not young any more. But I think before I want to have sex with someone, we need to know each other, no because need and have sex. I do not know, maybe this is the difference between us. I am hurt deeply. Two days before, he said I am his princess, precious and toddy bear. Only two after, I am nothing to him. It is really ridicules I have never met in my entire life. Unfortunately, I still have feeling about him. He was so sweet and cared about my feeling. Maybe I should not desire the pure love in abroad and in my age. He said to me, please grown up and be mature. Maybe he is right.
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26th November 2007
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Posted:Nov 26, 2007 12:01 pm
Last Updated:Nov 29, 2007 10:04 am 4744 Views
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Today I was not feeling good, the two main reasons are diffident and missing someone. He has not connected with me for three days. He has not known I am already starting like him. Today we did poster together and he made joker with me. I think every body can see his feeling about me, I am thinking should give him some feedback? I am not sure my heart yet, I afraid I just three minutes enthusiasm, it will hurt him and also me. Another thing is my studying, even everybody is telling me try to exceed myself, do not compare with anybody. But I can not. I feel really suffer when I see my classmates are so intelligent and clever. I really found out the differences between us. What should I do and to achieve their level. I believe I am working hard, but obviously it is not enough. Sometimes, I am thinking what else do I have except my cute appearance? Everybody says I am so intelligent and so clever from my childhood. In fact, I do not feel that.
I still have long way to go, and I believe no pain, no gain. Keep going and do not stop.
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24th November 2007
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Posted:Nov 24, 2007 2:46 pm
Last Updated:Dec 7, 2007 3:37 pm 3280 Views
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These days I am quite happy, I feel maybe I fall in love with someone. My classmate who comes from Pakistan. He is quite tall and has a good body shape, maybe because he plays polo. At first, I did not like him too much hence his aggressive and strong self-confident personality. He blamed our team members at every team meeting. I really did not like it, because I am quite peaceful person and do not like people fight with each other. Once, we were working on the most important assignment, he angered with us because we did not achieve his requirement. He was being so rule at that time. I was socked because I thought I am a useless person in this term and like a big burden. That night I was so upset and could not do anything and could not sleep. Later of that night, he texts me and apologized for his attitude. At that time I could not accept it because I was so scared I could not graduate. After he noticed my reaction, he promised he would never do it. One day later, we had another meeting; people still had different opinions and could not persuade each other. Fortunately, he did not do the same thing; he was trying so hard to control his emotion. After meeting he told me the reason why he trying so hard. He does not want to scare me again. He wants me feel better and encourage me to talk more and do not be shy to show my own opinion. Suddenly, I feel I am so important to someone, this is really good feeling and maybe I can trust him.
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17th November 2007
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Posted:Nov 17, 2007 2:12 pm
Last Updated:Nov 18, 2007 4:38 am 3428 Views
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Long time have not login and share my feeling. Today I have quite a lot of things to say. During this year, I achieved my aim and lost my lover. I can not tell myself if I won or not. In Chinese culture, the most important thing for a woman is her marriage. Unfortunately, I can not be a lucky woman as I want to be. I came here to seek my dream which is becoming a successful business woman. Once I starting my MBA course, I totally lost my confident. I found out how far between me and my dream. Nevertheless, I can not stop; I paid too much, and deserved compensation. I had told myself this is an unreturned road before I came. I already predicted how hard it would be. One thing I have not foreseen is I have to finish it along.
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24th January Wednesday Snowing
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Posted:Jan 24, 2007 1:17 pm
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2007 1:53 pm 3741 Views
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Today was the first snowing in Brighton this year. I was woke up at 8 clock, my roommate told me ¡°look out of the window ,it is snowing¡±. I was ump up from the bed ,and looked out ,every thing was covered by snow, that was so beautiful. Because I come from south of China, so snow for me is quite interesting thing. First time I saw snow was in 2004 in Sichuan province. I went to travel with my friends. That is a big snow; at the end we could not find the road. So that was a very dangerous situation, but still very beautiful.
I know this is changing the subject, but I still want to talk about my school. I have a very good the impression about this school in the first I was in here. The principle gave us a long lecture to told us what should we do in this 9 mouths future. But now I changed my mind, the reason is not about the teachers or facilities, just about the traditional in this school , most the students come form China or Russia , even in the lessons they also speak their mother language , same traditional students always gather together , they do not want to make friends with another country is students, that is a pig pity. How can I improve my English in this atmosphere? I want to cry!! From yesterday , the school started to give us extra-lesson after afternoon lesson about speaking .I thought they have seen this disadvantage and this shortcoming ,they also want to help the students to improve their speaking as well as they can. I hope we can have some income from this lesson.
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