2nd May
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Posted:May 2, 2008 6:27 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2008 7:17 pm 9204 Views
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These two weeks are my down time; I lose my lover and have to face my exams. I really appreciate the boy who I met online. He calls me every day; try to share my pain and stress. I do not have good temper when I talk to him on the phone, but he really gives me courage to overcome this difficult time. He does not know he already gives me too much help. In fact, I won¡¯t tell him hence I need to avoid the misleading. I don¡¯t want to give him any signal which can mislead him. Maybe we can become good friends. Who knows? Suddenly, I recognize fair never exists. The word likes a circle; the person who helps you would never be the person who you love with. Another lesson I have learned which is how to treasure the person around you, don¡¯t give up easily. Any way, the world still moves, I still have to face my coming tomorrow, not matter how much I have been lost and how much I have been regretted. This relationship only lasted four months, but it gave me a lot of memorable memory, I will keep it in my heart¡¡
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1st May
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Posted:May 1, 2008 9:34 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2008 4:16 am 9009 Views
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It is good to have a revision with classmates before the exams. I learned a lot from them. Unfortunately, I did not contribute too much. The good thing is as long as they want to help me, I am more than happy to act like a student. In fact, I am the lesser experience amongst them. After the coffee with Jessie and her friend, I found out the exams are not as easy as I imagination. I need to put more effort in it. I still have not studied hard enough compare with my classmates. Now I got the direction of the exams, the rest which I need to do is concentrate practice and ignore all of non-relevant stuff. In the afternoon tea, I ate too much; need to go to gym to loss some calories. Otherwise I will loss my victory of losing weight.
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30th April
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Posted:Apr 30, 2008 6:31 am
Last Updated:May 1, 2008 12:43 pm 9013 Views
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Just came back from Sonia (MBA course leader) for a meeting. I got really low mark in consultancy individual report. After decided to stay here to find a job, I start worry about my great of the course. Now I really want to be independent and do not rely on anyone else. To be honest, I am not young enough, in my age; I should be a mother or a senior manager in company. Unfortunately, I spent 99% of my energy on men. I always consider my boyfriend should be the first place in my life. I am totally wrong. I do not if it is too late to learn how to be independent now? Maybe the life was too easy to me before. I did not know how to pay my bill, how to cook and how to live without a man. Now, two important men left me, I spent 8 years to run two relationship, the subsequence provided I was wrong about them and myself. It is hard to restart a life, but maybe it is a opportunity to build up my own life.
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29th April
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Posted:Apr 29, 2008 3:08 pm
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2008 2:44 am 8736 Views
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I do not what else I can write, but just want to write something, do not want my life just passes and without any track. The blog is the best invention for the people who lazy to write¡ªlike me. Today a man has been released by DNA test. But he already spent 27 years in prison. Mr. Woodard could have been paroled, but he refused to admit to a crime he did not commit. I do not if it is worth? Some of you might think it is, because the truth is more important than the freedom. On the other hand, 27 years!!!! How many 27 years does a man have in his whole life? How much he can do during 27 years? Today we do not have a standard measurement to evaluate. This is totally relay on the value of individual person. Now, I have to ask myself what my value of love is. Should I consist to love someone he already told you we might not have future? Or just give up bravely? I do not have any clue about that. He and I just few minutes walk distance, today likes thousands of miles between us. I am not a little girl any more, why I can not be mature to deal with this problem¡¡
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26th April
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Posted:Apr 26, 2008 12:47 pm
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2008 6:56 pm 8796 Views
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Today, I had a good talk with Xiao Dan (a resident of my accommodation) and got quite a lot of information about job in Britain. Now I really worry about my future. My performance is not really good, so I have to face a big challenge when I am looking for a job. Normally, MBA is a very general course, I learn variety knowledge but is not specialist. Subsequently, my situation is quite difficult. According to my work experience and certification, it is rarely possibility for me to find a good management job. On the other word, I have to find a job from the low level. Unfortunately, employer might not want to employ me as well. Because this level¡¯s job, every body can do it. Why they should choose a foreigner instead of a local people or European? This is the first time, I have to face this kind of difficulty, and nobody can help me now, even my parents or my friends. Should I take this challenge or go back China? Now I truly understand the feeling. I should try, to face the tough challenge and to overcome the obstacle!!!!
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26th April
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Posted:Apr 26, 2008 2:35 am
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2008 4:49 am 8768 Views
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I did not sleep well last night. Too much pressure makes me nervous and anxious. My stomach is already empty, but do not want to eat anything. I never though this relationship gives so much influence on me, and lost 3 kilogrammes in three days. My angry comes from their bias about China. China contributes 80% of the manufacture industry for the world, but because their jealous and bias, they are trying to deny every thing which has done for the whole world. Chinese people like peace, we do not care about polity, but it does not mean we do not have pride and self-esteem. Today, we have to open our month and to gain the respect which is belonged to us. I regret to loss my boyfriend, but I will more regretted if I lost the pride of my mother land¡ªChina.
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25th April 2008
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Posted:Apr 25, 2008 12:43 pm
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2008 1:41 am 8803 Views
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Today was a busy day. After 5 months waiting, my mini laptop comes back again. I go to gym, talk to friends and study hard, try to make my life more and busier. I went to career department try to find some help from them. I want to stay here after graduations, because I can not find myself even go back China. It does not mean I do not like my country, I want to gain some work experience from here. I thought I can drop it down and forget about him. In fact, I can not achieve it. Just came back from gym, now I am seating in front of my laptop. His face goes through my eyes again and again. He is perfect beside a bit immature. I regret already, but can not find a reason to call him. We do not have future and common. Normally, I will cry badly, but this time I do not cry even once. I know I am crying from my heart¡¡
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23rd April 2008
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Posted:Apr 23, 2008 3:22 pm
Last Updated:Apr 24, 2008 12:48 am 8706 Views
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Finally, the last team work finished today. Our team won the simulation game and with the reward¡ªchampagne. We did a really short ceremony with the other team members. But I can feel the atmosphere was not really friendly as I predicted. This MBA class never have truly congratulation. To be honest, I was not really happy as well. In our team, a Greek girl is extremely aggressive and dominated person. She never allows the different opinions. I had few team work experiences with her and quite familiar with that and had a big fight with her as well. I did not pay more attention on her; I was concentrated on the case. On the other hand, this simulation is really useful. It integrates all of the models which we learned before together, marketing, human resource, strategy, and finance and operation management. Ultimately, I did not waste my money and my time. I hope my investment can be paid off. Jessie (one of Singapore classmate) asked me if our friendship has recovered with the Greek girl. I said no, because I can not accept her personality any more even she is really good at knowledge. But I curies she might be able to become a good manager, but should be an unpopular one. How can become a successful manager and leader, I still have not found the answer after the whole MBA.
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23rd April 2008
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Posted:Apr 22, 2008 5:32 pm
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2008 3:27 pm 9307 Views
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I still can not sleep because missing him so much. If we did not have fight we would be together now. What should I choose my country or my love? But the critical is he can not even make a commitment to me. Why I always full in love with the wrong men? I have so strong love about my country and about him as well. I regretted maybe I should not use that tone to talk to him and finally expelled him out of my room. Obviously, I did the wrong thing; I should be patient to explain every thing to him. I can not go back, lonely and missing around me, I can not handle this again. I deleted all of him connect detail. It is a good thing, because otherwise I can not control. I will humiliate myself and my country as well. I want to cry, but nobody will see and no friends listen to me. I make too much complain to my friends, they already fed up with that I guess. I desperate want to know who can help me and how. I try to know new friends online, but sense the friends come to me, I am afraid to face it. Honestly, I do not believe that, if I can not deal with the people around me how can I deal with the people who I meet online?
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23rd April 2008
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Posted:Apr 22, 2008 4:16 pm
Last Updated:Apr 22, 2008 5:39 pm 9172 Views
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I have not written daily here for a long time. I had good time actually during this period, but it was finished few days ago. He is a really sweet and thoughtful guy. The reason for us is the different political opinion. These days, Tibet issue attracts the attention from the whole world. I believe most of westerns have really bad idea about Tibet should be part of China, even my ex-lover. I showed a lot of evident about Tibet history and the condition now to him, but he still believes the western media and them distortion news about the riot which was happened a month ago in Tibet. I¡¯ve been really hurt. How the people who even have not been to Tibet in their whole life can make the judgement so unreasonable. Even so, I still love him, but sense he does respect my country mean he does respect me as well. I should not put so many emotions in it. I do not know, what is happening to me. Everybody says I am a wonderful person, friendly, thoughtful, easygoing and beautiful, but I do not have too many friends and I even lost my boyfriend. Who can give me the answer to help me out of this bad situation to keep move on?
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